Considering

Lately, i though a lots.
I considering and think a lots.
What happen between us,
Why m i changing,
How, why, what, where, when....

I felt pressure from him.
I feel he start controlling me
The way i wearing my clothes,
The way i talking,
The way i going with my friends,
The way i changing,
The way my life going,
The way i treating him,
The place i going,
The wording i express to public.....

Honestly, i m happy with my changing,
Compare with previously who too dependent on him.
May b i really forget him while i m enjoying,

I start treat him cool,
n placing him far from me.
I start not appreciate him,
thinking he treat me good is a must.
While i start to be evil,
I become hot tempered in front of him,
I become naughty and stubborn,
I believe i not understanding him enough,
I did not consider his feeling,
I just do whatever i want without doubt.

I believe he love and sayang me very much,
He saw i m changing,
He start to worry me,
Wondering why i m treating him cool,
He unable to except me,
as i changing fast.
I expose myself a lot,
I m growing and having lot different thinking.

I know he love me very much,
He willing to do n have a try whatever that i request.
He willing to scarify, patient to me.
He teach me a lot especially life lesson.
I know i have failed to b a good gf since long time ago.
I know i should not complain n compare,
Yet it have happened. I treat him really unfair n make him suffer.

I admit, i m playful,
While he is safety person.
There have much different between us,
The wavelength or thinking,
The life style we going daily,
The way we solve problem,
The food or meal v having,
The way of communication,
The choice v chosen,
It probability course by different family background, the environment
v expose to, the experiences, the persons around, the growing ages...

Lately, all i have consider,
Thinking what i want,
What i feel,
What decision i going to decide,
What should i do,
How m i going to face it,
How should i going to solve it,
How m i going with him n others.

I must b fair to him,
I must listen to my heart,
I must give changes to myself,
I must clear what i m doing,
I must no regret........

Merry Christmas Nite

Now was Christmas midnite,
I wondering wat he doing,
He must be sleeping like a pig?
Or he drunking with his bro?
I don y...i jz wondering...
I start thinking he lately,
I feel....a kind of feeling that..
I unable to explain...
I think i miss him,
After v have separate 1month...
A feeling that different from previous
That kind of miss him feeling...
N O E L !!!

可恶的自己

我们最近都闹得很不开心，我承认，我吃醋了。。。还是吃很大的醋~使得我突然不小心说了很多伤害性的话给你听。我承认，我当时没有顾虑你的感受，你是一个好动的小女孩，这个我知道，你开始学习独立，我也知道。但是有时我真的害怕，我害怕有一天你会不知不觉离我而去。当我知道有个男生和你很亲密时，当我知道他喜欢你时，我真的很痛~很痛~我也很生气，因为我吃醋了。

我还记得那天你在电话里流眼泪的时候，我的心也跟着出血了，我~我~我根本就不知道我自己犯下了那么大的错误，我竟然对你那么的说话，我从来没有试过那么大声对你说话，但是我这次却对你那么的大声。当你盖了电话，当我知道你的泪水一直掉，我的泪水也开始不知觉的流了下来。

当天晚上的我，一个人对着天花板呆了整夜，头脑一片空白，眼泪也不知流了多少。。。

你曾经告诉我，你是很迟钝的人，你需要人依赖，你需要我。。。
可是我竟然伤害了你~
我好后悔，好想把那天的对话给删除掉，可是我不能，我没有这个本事。

这几个月，我们曾经为了很多大大小小的事情吵了无数次，每一次吵了的第二天，我都想乖乖的向您低头认错，因为我不舍得让你伤心，因为我不想看见你不开心，因为我希望让你开开心心，因为我要让你幸福。

对你的承诺，我无时无刻都记在脑海里~

你对我的好，你对我的温柔，时时刻刻都在我记忆里，
你买给我的apollo面包，每当我吃时都觉得好幸福。。。
你帮我洗被，让我晚上睡觉时盖被都感觉到温软。。。
你给的拥抱，让我感觉你对我的无限体贴，我不舍得放手。。。
你所给我的，是我从来没有尝试过的幸福，是你让我体会这些感觉，这种感受~
你让我知道和肯定，你是我剩余的人生里，是扮演着最重要的角色，陪伴我走完今世的人。
除了你，没有人了。。。

小女孩~对不起~
小男孩很后悔伤害了你，我希望你再给我一次机会，让我从新爱你~

I m Learning To Be Independent

Ya..he have chose to went back Kuantan to work on his career. It has been 10 months. When i get the message i consider a lots of stuffs, but those was the easy going problem. I take it easy, my though was simple, i thinking is okay for me. He have his life, his job at Kuantan, while i am studying hard at KL. Thinking that we are working hard, we both loving each other, we will meet once we have done our stuffs.

Unfortunately, it does not works that easy. At first, i meet him almost every weekend. Lie to my parent, just to meet him, but i know what am i doing. As times going, he become more busy on his job, while i am busy on my studies. Therefore, we start less contacts, we even does not have one conversation for one day.

I trying to be strong, thinking he is busy i should be kind to him, more understand him. He is freshman to the societies, he need times to use to it. So i try to focus on my studies, ya, i was about to be success. But i have use to dependent on him. I use to talk the most with him everyday. Whatever stuffs, what i doing, what problems i facing, and so on i just talk to him. At that moment, i not allow to do so. I have get myself some part time job to fulfill my time, i am busy with those stuffs yet i am missing him.

I feel lonely, helpless, no one to relied on. I start thinking am i too dependent to him...I feel sufer, so i start of be independent. So how should i start? I should have my own life, own friends, own stuffs, own work to do. I notice that i does not have friend, that course me feel lonely, so i start to join my close1. i m so jlous that sum of my friend, they have lot others friend around them, they are so happy and full of joyful. I m curious why it does not happen on me. I would like to like them, i know myself can not have a best friend, but i wan to try for a lot of good friends.

Thinking and learning the way to be friendly, i start join them yet i feel lonely. I think i really too dependent on him, why m i so suffer without him. I hate that kind of feeling, why i not flexible enough? i changes....I WAN Changessssssssss.........i Wan to b Independent.......I WAN to survive although i m alone without him.....in this moment i have to figure out myself to save myself....i not blaming he, this is the way how v survive.

西东恋的幸福

2009年的最后一天。。。

2010年的到来对我来说将是世界末日的开始，毕业了，工作了，再也不能好像以前那样，想见你就见你。以前一星期里最少见面三四次，现在却是一个月见一两次。见面数次几倍下降~

思念的感觉无时无刻都浮现在我脑海里，想问。。。

早餐你吃了吗？
今天的你过得好吗？
心里是否有想念我？
功课是否困扰着你？

期待每次电话响起的时候，
听见你那甜美的声音。。。

每次一个人驾车去找你，虽然路程有点寂寞，可是当我想到你会很温柔的帮我按摩时，就会不自禁的笑出来了，拥抱时感受你那暖暖的体温，这幸福的感觉不是写几个字就能形容的。

今天是2010年10月15日，天晴。
不知不觉我们分开两地已有十个月之久，今年里我们发生了很多不愉快的事情，甚至大家都想过分手这两个字。
但是我们依然把对方的手牢牢的握住，谁也不想放。
可是考验才刚刚开始，在2018年来临前，我们还必须经历种种考验，疲倦对我来说是全是借口，放弃是逃避，是懦夫的行为。

所以我绝对不会放弃你~
因为我拥有了一个愿意和我一起坚持努力的人，为我们的未来加油。。。

我爱你！

小男孩与小女孩的爱情故事

2007年的十六岁全国赛遇见了你，印象深刻的是你那迷人的笑容，那傻傻的样子，原来所谓的一见钟情就是这意思，电视剧常有的故事竟然发生在我身上，真不可思议。哈哈^^

2008年1月某某天

突然接到你的电话问候时，当时的我真不知所措，手忙脚乱，可是我们却聊了很久，也让我们对对方留下了印象。

2008年1月20号

我们第一次牵手，我们第一次拥抱，我们第一次接吻，第一次接触你的心，就算我晚年得了老人痴呆症，也是我终身都不会忘记的。

2009年1月20号

我们爱情故事的一周年。。。你的温柔，体谅，支持，为我带来无限的动力和精神。记得陪你一起背日文听写时，一起熬夜的时候，虽然累，但是却是别人想像不到的另一种享受。

2009年2月14号

一生难忘的情人节。。。心灵上的结合让我门的心更加坚固，一年里所发生的事让我们更加了解对方~

不知道你是否还记得这些照片吗？我人身不再是我一个人的回忆了，而是我和你共同拥有的甜蜜回忆，遇见你是我最幸福的事~

小女孩，永远爱你~

Our 2nd Valentine Day

14th February, Sunday

Today is Valentine day, is the 1st day of Cny too...both of us is in our own hmtown. His at Kuantan, mine at Puchong. So...v unable to celebrate it together. V do meet together later but i m busy on my assign. therefore, v consider v didn celebrate it. Anyway, i goin to post sumthing...

It was the begining, on the end of year 2007, v kno each other at...Sri Kembangan. I work as the oficial for basketbal match n he was the Pahang refree. N v kno each other.

Tis was the 2nd yr anniversary present...Zhu zai Zhu Lui!

Tis pic took in ur house, v r so young..hehe!

Tis is wen v emo..

Wen v r happy..

Wen i forcing him to take pic..haha!

Ei! tis 1 v start mature o..

I stil rmb our 1st trip at Genting, v doesn kno each other wel but v have made it. V have realy happy moment together. It was happen a little nervous at the end of tis trip, yet v made it, v hav level up our relationship...

Beside, i do visit his place. The place he was born, he growth up, he stay n educated. I m curious all stuf tat about him. I wan to kno all about him.

Moreover, v do have trip to Cameron highland n v do enjoy there. I rmb this deeply, he is the 1 who willing to cure my sickness wit his own body warmness...he so kind to me n take good care of me wen i m sick. I m recover by him without any medicine jz recover bcoz of his body warmness.

I do join his family trip too to Malacca, i start go wit his family, communicate n kno is family.
His fimily treat wel, i enjoy it..

Furthermore, v have went alots other places. V do shopping together, playing bowling, wath movies, having lunch n diner like other couple. V enjoy together...Lov it..!

I lov him alots...realy thank u...boy2...M..............A!

Relative Renovated House

My relative hav renovate their house, whic is superb nice...It is the house where i stay once i was born til the age of 3..it is our grandmom n granddad staying house previously...v went there frequently from time to time...

I m so glad to c it..is so pieceful house..tis house almost 30-40 years old...



The most impreesive part of the house was my cousin bro tea room..he decorate til vry...old...is antique!!!

Tipically japanese, chinese style

It was so clam..


Here is the eating table space...

Beside, on the 6th day of CNY, v whole family went to my dad frien house bcoz there hav open house, there hav 6 boxes of firework, v enjoy watching it...n i get to capture1 of it...

I enjoy tis 2010 year Cny although there hav alot to worry bout assignmnent but i can feel the cnt environment...hope he is too...

CNY Food!!

14th February, Sunday

Yaeh!! Happy CNY!!! Haha! wat i doin on CNY week..?
Offcoz not least eating...i eat eat,eat,eat,eat.........
Jz eat..offcoz doin assign too la...but most of the visit time i m eating

1st is all kind of cookies....tis is the most cute a hav ate...doggy cookies..so cute...

The great expensiv crap...fresh sea food or toasted..

CNY most famous de.."lou yu sen"

"Nian nian you yu " Pudding dessert too...made by my relatives...i so color ful n sweet..

Last but not least is the "tuan yuan fan"...our family n my relatives eat together.

All the dishes , soup, prawn..fish..good food is prepared...n v start wit "luo yu sen"

The higher the better...wishing n luo..

Everyone hoping to get to eat the salmon fish..it representing prosperious of the year...

In Cny everyone is happy n enjoy..my slimming plan also hav delated due to tis festival..haha!

Hope evryone will b wealth in tis year...