I m Learning To Be Independent

Ya..he have chose to went back Kuantan to work on his career. It has been 10 months. When i get the message i consider a lots of stuffs, but those was the easy going problem. I take it easy, my though was simple, i thinking is okay for me. He have his life, his job at Kuantan, while i am studying hard at KL. Thinking that we are working hard, we both loving each other, we will meet once we have done our stuffs.

Unfortunately, it does not works that easy. At first, i meet him almost every weekend. Lie to my parent, just to meet him, but i know what am i doing. As times going, he become more busy on his job, while i am busy on my studies. Therefore, we start less contacts, we even does not have one conversation for one day.

I trying to be strong, thinking he is busy i should be kind to him, more understand him. He is freshman to the societies, he need times to use to it. So i try to focus on my studies, ya, i was about to be success. But i have use to dependent on him. I use to talk the most with him everyday. Whatever stuffs, what i doing, what problems i facing, and so on i just talk to him. At that moment, i not allow to do so. I have get myself some part time job to fulfill my time, i am busy with those stuffs yet i am missing him.

I feel lonely, helpless, no one to relied on. I start thinking am i too dependent to him...I feel sufer, so i start of be independent. So how should i start? I should have my own life, own friends, own stuffs, own work to do. I notice that i does not have friend, that course me feel lonely, so i start to join my close1. i m so jlous that sum of my friend, they have lot others friend around them, they are so happy and full of joyful. I m curious why it does not happen on me. I would like to like them, i know myself can not have a best friend, but i wan to try for a lot of good friends.

Thinking and learning the way to be friendly, i start join them yet i feel lonely. I think i really too dependent on him, why m i so suffer without him. I hate that kind of feeling, why i not flexible enough? i changes....I WAN Changessssssssss.........i Wan to b Independent.......I WAN to survive although i m alone without him.....in this moment i have to figure out myself to save myself....i not blaming he, this is the way how v survive.