Saturday, December 25, 2010

Considering

Lately, i though a lots.
I considering and think a lots.
What happen between us,
Why m i changing,
How, why, what, where, when....

I felt pressure from him.
I feel he start controlling me
The way i wearing my clothes,
The way i talking,
The way i going with my friends,
The way i changing,
The way my life going,
The way i treating him,
The place i going,
The wording i express to public.....

Honestly, i m happy with my changing,
Compare with previously who too dependent on him.
May b i really forget him while i m enjoying,

I start treat him cool,
n placing him far from me.
I start not appreciate him,
thinking he treat me good is a must.
While i start to be evil,
I become hot tempered in front of him,
I become naughty and stubborn,
I believe i not understanding him enough,
I did not consider his feeling,
I just do whatever i want without doubt.

I believe he love and sayang me very much,
He saw i m changing,
He start to worry me,
Wondering why i m treating him cool,
He unable to except me,
as i changing fast.
I expose myself a lot,
I m growing and having lot different thinking.

I know he love me very much,
He willing to do n have a try whatever that i request.
He willing to scarify, patient to me.
He teach me a lot especially life lesson.
I know i have failed to b a good gf since long time ago.
I know i should not complain n compare,
Yet it have happened. I treat him really unfair n make him suffer.

I admit, i m playful,
While he is safety person.
There have much different between us,
The wavelength or thinking,
The life style we going daily,
The way we solve problem,
The food or meal v having,
The way of communication,
The choice v chosen,
It probability course by different family background, the environment
v expose to, the experiences, the persons around, the growing ages...

Lately, all i have consider,
Thinking what i want,
What i feel,
What decision i going to decide,
What should i do,
How m i going to face it,
How should i going to solve it,
How m i going with him n others.

I must b fair to him,
I must listen to my heart,
I must give changes to myself,
I must clear what i m doing,
I must no regret........

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas Nite

Now was Christmas midnite,
I wondering wat he doing,
He must be sleeping like a pig?
Or he drunking with his bro?
I don y...i jz wondering...
I start thinking he lately,
I feel....a kind of feeling that..
I unable to explain...
I think i miss him,
After v have separate 1month...
A feeling that different from previous
That kind of miss him feeling...
N O E L !!!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

可恶的自己

我们最近都闹得很不开心,我承认,我吃醋了。。。还是吃很大的醋~使得我突然不小心说了很多伤害性的话给你听。我承认,我当时没有顾虑你的感受,你是一个好动的小女孩,这个我知道,你开始学习独立,我也知道。但是有时我真的害怕,我害怕有一天你会不知不觉离我而去。当我知道有个男生和你很亲密时,当我知道他喜欢你时,我真的很痛~很痛~我也很生气,因为我吃醋了。

我还记得那天你在电话里流眼泪的时候,我的心也跟着出血了,我~我~我根本就不知道我自己犯下了那么大的错误,我竟然对你那么的说话,我从来没有试过那么大声对你说话,但是我这次却对你那么的大声。当你盖了电话,当我知道你的泪水一直掉,我的泪水也开始不知觉的流了下来。

当天晚上的我,一个人对着天花板呆了整夜,头脑一片空白,眼泪也不知流了多少。。。

你曾经告诉我,你是很迟钝的人,你需要人依赖,你需要我。。。
可是我竟然伤害了你~
我好后悔,好想把那天的对话给删除掉,可是我不能,我没有这个本事。

这几个月,我们曾经为了很多大大小小的事情吵了无数次,每一次吵了的第二天,我都想乖乖的向您低头认错,因为我不舍得让你伤心,因为我不想看见你不开心,因为我希望让你开开心心,因为我要让你幸福。

对你的承诺,我无时无刻都记在脑海里~

你对我的好,你对我的温柔,时时刻刻都在我记忆里,
你买给我的apollo面包,每当我吃时都觉得好幸福。。。
你帮我洗被,让我晚上睡觉时盖被都感觉到温软。。。
你给的拥抱,让我感觉你对我的无限体贴,我不舍得放手。。。
你所给我的,是我从来没有尝试过的幸福,是你让我体会这些感觉,这种感受~
你让我知道和肯定,你是我剩余的人生里,是扮演着最重要的角色,陪伴我走完今世的人。
除了你,没有人了。。。

小女孩~对不起~
小男孩很后悔伤害了你,我希望你再给我一次机会,让我从新爱你~